A few nights ago I saw an online presentation that blew my mind.

And I really think it could change my teenage son’s future.

You see at the end of last year my son Zac was lucky enough to be given a place on a leadership programme that his school had negotiated with an outside consultancy.

Of course, I was proud and thrilled!

However, I assumed that what he would learn were the traditional project management techniques that usually get rolled out.

Things like ‘SWOT analysis’ where you work out your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats… or Myers Briggs personality types, where you take tests to analyse what makes you and others tick…

Believe me, in my career I’ve been on a LOT of training programmes, so I know what to expect.

But not this time…

The parents of the 20 boys that took part were invited to watch an online presentation where they explained what they had learned.

And, honestly, it took my breath away.

This wasn’t the same old leadership stuff I expected them to trot out…

These were fresh, cutting edge ideas about success and achievement, that I have studied in recent years from the world’s best experts and pioneers.

I have shared some of these concepts with my son… but, of course, when it’s your Mum telling you something, it doesn’t have quite as much power, does it 😉

Usually, I get the rolling eyes and shrugged shoulders of a teenager who wants to do it all himself – and in his own way.

But these ideas taught to him on this training course had truly sunk in, and he was now on screen SAYING THEM BACK TO ME!

I’m so glad because the concepts he has just learned will have a massive (and good) influence on his future.

And they could do the same for you, too, no matter what your age or experience.

I will share some of them with you in due course, but today I want to discuss one that might surprise you.

It might sound a little upside down.

Even a bit barmy…

But here goes…

Why it’s GOOD to fail

From a young age, we are measured by our success.

School is all about passing exams, getting good grades, getting into teams, winning prizes, getting great reports.

On the surface of it, that might sound like a good thing.

We must aspire to success, right? So that’s surely what we must be rewarded for.

But I – and many others – believe that the opposite is true.

At school, you should be taught that it’s GOOD to fail and HOW to fail properly.

And I’ll go one step further…

The fact that we’re told pretty much the opposite thing from such a young age could be the cause of many psychological obstacles we face today.

Because you see, when people don’t expect to fail, they take it really hard when they do.

They think it’s their fault…

They think that it’s because they’re not suited to what they’re doing.

Or they think it’s a flaw in the training or system they are following.

So they give up.

They shy away from the challenge and stay where it’s comfortable instead, assuming that they don’t have what it takes to change their lives.

This is because at school we were often made to feel bad for failing a maths exam, or failing to get into a college, or failing to get the grade that was predicted for us.

Often, we assumed that it meant we should NEVER pursue those goals.

This meant that whole avenues of potential success were closed off, suddenly. Doors of opportunity slammed shut. We put blinkers on.

But what my son has just learned… and what everyone should understand… is that it’s not only OK to fail… but GOOD to fail.

Here’s why…

A learning process that leads to success

The only way to achieve something great is to try things that are new, for which you might not be prepared, skilled or trained.

When that happens, it’s inevitable that you’ll fail from time to time.

That’s fine, because every time you do fail, you learn something.

And every time you learn something, you grow in terms of knowledge, experience and confidence.

Without failure, that’s not possible.

Without failure you cannot grow.

But it’s not only that…

If you don’t embrace the prospect that you’re going to fail – and fail many times – then you’re going to end up disappointed in your projects and abandon them.

Because there’s no escaping failure. It’s unrealistic to imagine you’ll somehow sail through, getting it right every time and never having bad luck.

In almost every aspect of a new business, you WILL fail, and fail continuously…

That is, until you succeed.

To give you some examples…

• the technology will glitch
• you’ll send out the wrong email
• the Facebook ad will be turned down
• a contractor will let you down
• you’ll make a mistake in your calculations
• you’ll create an advert that fails
• customers will complain
• you’ll get a bad review or troll
• you’ll run a launch that doesn’t work
• a global event will ruin your plans (hello coronavirus!)

If these hiccups make you feel terrible, and that you’ve let yourself (and others) down, you’ll stop in your tracks as doubts take over.

You’ll tell yourself things like…

“I’m not cut out for this sort of thing…”

“I’m unlucky…”

“I’m never going to succeed.”

“I lack the ability”.

“This system doesn’t work…”

“This business idea is all wrong.”

That would be a shame.

Because none of these conclusions would be true.

All you have done is let that childhood conditioning get to you – that you should judge yourself by your successes, and that failure is bad.

Don’t blame yourself for this, as it’s drilled into most of us from a young age.

But you should do everything you can to overcome it…

You need to accept that failure is a necessary part of the process, then learn from your mistakes and mishaps so that you can move forward.

Each time this happens, you become better, stronger, and more resilient.

As I say, I’m delighted that my son has learned this, and I hope it’s something you embrace too.

It could make such a difference!