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I was so embarrassed by my lack of education…

by | Jan 20, 2022 | Articles | 8 comments

There is something I’m very ashamed of.

Always have been.

It’s the fact that I never went to university.

Sure, I got my A-levels (nothing outstanding but ok), but as soon as I left school I needed to work to pay off mountain credit card bills I quickly managed to accumulate (entirely my own fault).

I thought I might go to Uni after a year, but then a year passed, and another… the debts mounted.

So I never went.

Whenever friends and colleagues talked about their university days, I desperately tried to steer them onto another topic in case they asked about my degree…

Then I’d have to say, “I didn’t go”, as if I wasn’t smart enough.

For many years I felt that there were huge gaps in my knowledge and automatically assumed that everyone else knew more than me.

Even when I climbed the ranks of an international publishing business to become a director, I had a sense of ‘imposter syndrome’ – that I didn’t really deserve it… that I might get caught out one day and sent back down the ladder to where I belonged.

Do you ever feel like that?

Do you have a nagging sense that you’re somehow less qualified, less deserving, less knowledgeable?

It’s one of the biggest factors that prevent many women (in particular) from creating their own courses.

They assume that they shouldn’t stick their heads above the parapet. That they’ll get shot down as soon as they try to tell other people what to do. That it’s not their place to stand tall in front of others and share what they know.

And it’s such a shame because there is no reason at all why you shouldn’t.

This is why I wrote a report all about overcoming this mental barrier, called How to Silence Your Inner Critic: Proven Ways to Banish Self-Limiting Beliefs, Gain Confidence & Start Living an Abundant Life.

If you haven’t seen it yet, then you can download it for FREE through this link.

Anyway, going back to my own imposter syndrome in the early 2000s…

Even though I was a company director I was still VERY shy about my past and felt like I was surrounded by people far more qualified than I’d ever be.

My sense of ‘not being good enough’ had been going on for so long, it had started to define me.

Then something happened to change all that…

In 2003, while on maternity leave, I started an information publishing business from my cramped London home.

It was the hardest – and best – decision I ever made, and here’s one reason why…

A revelation that changed everything

When I started publishing my products, I was incredibly nervous that I didn’t really know what I was doing… that it would all fall apart… and I’d be back to square one.

But that didn’t happen. Of course I faced set backs and hurdles but because I HAD to make it work I pushed through.

My tiny home business soon grew into an office-based business with staff.

I went on courses, attended seminars, and devoured books… feverishly educating myself in marketing, direct sales, social media and even accounts, planning and organisation – ANYTHING that could help me catch up with “the big boys”.

I started to train up ordinary people to share their knowledge and experiences in eBay, Amazon, Forex trading, investing, sports betting, email marketing, dress making, you name it!

And the business kept growing, year after year…

Eventually, I realised…

The proof was right there, in my 7-figure business…

…I really DID know what I was doing!

And I was doing it just as well as more educated people.

Even better actually.

That’s when it struck me…

My mental flaw… that misguided belief that I wasn’t good enough… had actually driven my success.

It pushed me to keep learning, trying new things, and improving myself.

From that day forth, I stopped being bothered when people talked about their university days, or their degrees and qualifications.

I could hold my head up.

Why it’s ok to admit your flaws

These days, my lack of university education is something I’m not ashamed to admit.

In fact, I even mention it in some of my sales promotions!

And the reason for this is, I don’t want to pretend I’m something I’m not.

I feel that it’s ok for me to share this ‘flaw’ because it will help potential customers see the real me.

And, hopefully, it will help other women feel that they don’t have to be afraid of stepping up to the plate and sharing what they know in a course…

Even if they dropped out of school…

Even if they didn’t go to university…

Even if they spent a decade out of work so that they could bring up their kids…

The same goes for you, too, if you decide to set up your own online course.

It’s OK to have flaws, vulnerabilities, and disadvantages…

It’s even OK to admit them to potential customers.

You don’t have to hide who you are, or pretend that you are someone you are not.

Sometimes it’s actually better in terms of sales if you let people see a bit more of the real you.

Because the truth is, people who buy courses want help from someone they like and trust, and who has been through some struggles and challenges.

“If you can do it,” they will think, “then so can I.”

Of course, you don’t have to admit all your flaws!

The beauty of course creation is that you get full control over what parts of your life, interests, and personality you share… and what parts you keep private.

So please don’t worry if you feel you have a lack of knowledge or confidence… or if you’re concerned about your age, race, class, weight, looks or ANY aspect of yourself that you think others judge harshly.

These things make you real, and human, and could become empowering, not disadvantageous.

What’s more, YOU get to choose what people know, and don’t know about you.

So look, I hope that my experience gives you some confidence, and dispels any idea that you have to act like a different person to impress your course customers.

And if you want to read more about imposter syndrome (and how to overcome it) then please do check out my report. How to Silence Your Inner Critic

8 Comments

  1. Frances

    This was an interesting read. My thoughts are surely a person doesn’t a university education to tell their own story. University education surely helps in broadening your knowledge; does it though in skills? There will always be gaps. It is not for everyone and for those who feel it is not for them they shouldn’t feel any sense of guilt.

    Reply
    • Heloise Laight

      Thank you Francis 🙂 I’ve just mentioned to Diane I was using a university degree (or lack thereof!) as an example of something I was using as a self-limiting belief. I think all of us, to some extent, have our own version – yet often it is something that we give far more negative power tothan we should!

      Reply
  2. Diane A. Davis, MSc., Ph.D., P.E.

    Thank you for your note, Heloise.

    A university education is required if you wish to function in a profession, such as I do: architecture and engineering, now research and development, building on my advanced physics and mathematics background. I am working on my second Ph.D. because I believe it is necessary for what I want to R&D, so I have been in university since I was 16, while working full time in two professions.

    In your case, you were predestined for a hugely successful business career; so it wasn’t necessary for you to pursue all the rigorous courses necessary for a university program.

    Now that you have wealth and more independent control of your time, you may want to take some courses toward a business undergrad major.

    For a person like myself who is always reaching for the next professional challenge and always curious, I always encourage people to stay in school and keep going, especially students I teach and mentor in my fields, because technology is changing so quickly. In the U.S., once we assume our professional degrees and pass a 10 – part national license exam, we are still required here in the U.S. to accumulate a specified number of CEUs required each year in additional education. This is just to maintain our state professional license and respective professional practice insurance. In the State of New York, we are required to take 36 CEUs of additional education (hours in units) just to maintain our licenses to practice and we must document same and send to the State Department of Education that gave us our licenses. You can see why professional persons need a rigorous professional preparation in undergrad and grad school.

    If it still bothers you, take some coursework, for your own self-satisfaction of personal achievement. Money isn’t everything. Having a sense of personal fulfillment is also important.

    But even more important is that you are honest about it; it shows your character development and personal and business sense of integrity – a requirement for people to want to do business with you.

    If you couldn’t speak well and couldn’t construct a grammatically correct letter, I would encourage you to begin coursework urgently, because this would make a bad impression on those you are trying to bring into your own business. But you have had a good secondary education in England, more like a private secondary school education here in the U.S. I do not consider the (truly) public secondary schools here in the U.S. of much use.

    I have been so busy with my own professional work and additional post-doctoral R&D, and writing additional manuscripts for my book series: Fusion Energy ~ The Public’s Guide(TM), that I was not able to finish the reason why I was interested in your online web program. I hope at some point, maybe next year, to be able to complete writing and preparing my online course for the general public making the information on climate change science and physics available to the readers of my books and listeners of my public information radio program on climate change issues.

    I wish you all the very best, love and light, Heloise.

    Reply
    • Heloise Laight

      Thank you Diane for your very insightful post. I completely agree that learning should be (and is for me) a lifelong process and certainly do undertake courses and training regularly. Of course, I also understand that for certain professions a formal qualification is non-negotiable. What I am trying to illustrate is that sometimes what we believe holds us back doesn’t have to and was using this as an example.

      It certainly sounds like you have some very exciting projects ahead.

      Reply
  3. Anthony Reid

    My first response Heloise is to say ‘congratulations’. And, congratulations again!

    You have created a very successful business through personal determination and enterprise and the last thing you should have in mind is any apology for not going to university.

    ‘Dad got it wrong about universities – they don’t make society fairer’. A quote from Evan Blair about his father Tony Blair who advocated a policy of encouraging young people to attend university regardless of what they might be capable of achieving.

    The outcome of this policy has been and continues to be a shortage of capable people in so many professions and trades. Accountants and solicitors were initially employed as articled clerks and underwent their professional training at a law firm, often as a two year training contract. As to trades in construction, and engineering, these apprenticeships had been periods of up to five years producing very professional people capable of having self fulfilling employment and a good living.

    The nursing profession has suffered in particular; off to university instead of a student nursing role alongside practical training on the ward. Learning to deal with the physical, daily needs of patients, attuning to the emotional demands of being in hospital as well as becoming familiar with the necessary medical treatments and medications. Now, nurses who know how to read an I-pad but often lack the real affinity with the patient.

    So, be pleased that you made the choice you did. And continue to build your business.

    The result of Mr Blair’s approach is that we are dependent upon workers from other countries for these trade roles and much of our caring services.

    Reply
    • Heloise Laight

      Thank you for your kind words and it’s very interesting to hear that insight into the nursing world.

      Reply
  4. Michele Standley

    This is a very good read; as was How To Silence Your Inner Critic.

    I very much resonate with parts of both and the feeling of not being good enough. Even though I have a wealth of knowledge/know-how that I have successfully shared with others who have benefited from this. Plus I feel I have achieved a lot in many areas and had many wins.

    The fact that I have not yet achieved financial success has I believe enhanced this feeling of not being good enough.

    After many years of doing many jobs, running a joint business, and starting my own businesses, that did not bring me financial success, I’ve been doing a lot of searching and reflecting on what’s next for me and why.

    Looking forward to going through the Course Creation Academy to now achieve that financial success that has eluded me for so long!

    Reply
    • heloise laight

      Michelle, it’s so very common to feel like this – I have just attended a mastermind with some of the most successful people I’ve ever been in a room with and they still battle this. I think once you can recognise that feeling, acknowledge it and then carry on despite still feeling that way – great things can start to happen.

      Onwards!

      Reply

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